Blue Balloon

It’s been awhile since I last wrote something, anything... personal that is. Perhaps cos the last ‘events’ in my life has been too painful, too painful that a little part of me was just willing to forget it to pretend it never happened... perhaps in order to allow myself to move on or even have a chance at moving on, scratch that, to moving forward.

Ive come to terms with myself and I told myself I will destroy the bad, bad memories and make them as bleak as possible and to just hang on to the good ones. The good, good feelings, the surprises, the unexpecteds and everything to sugarcoat everything, atleast in my memory. Don’t get me wrong...I still hope... that one day I will be able to drive to the beach, let go of a balloon and just cry it all out and finally say goodbye. But I told myself that the balloon must contain a lot of things I want to tell him because literally it shall be my release. I havent done it cos like what I said I havent been writing lately and Ive been forcing myself to just think of the good ones. But one day I will...